Silly Cliche's You Learned From the Cradle

OK Shalers,
Those of you that know me know that I can only take so much bad news and Shale in-fighting. It is once more time to "lighten" things with something really silly and inane. What could be any sillier than the cliche's we Southerners learned as children. You non-Southerners (you know who you are) should get a kick out of these. I'll start the list and you all can join in. Let's see how many we can come up with.
1. Tighter than Dick's hatband.
2. Drunk as Cooter Brown.
3. Cuter than a speckled pup.
4. Ugly as home made sin.

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Whew, that should do it!

Had more emails following than ticks on a dog in high summer ... :0)
I knew you could do it Sesport!


The apple don't fall far from the tree.
That ole boy looks like been beat with an ugly stick.
He's got ants in his pants.
Beauty is skin deep but ugly is all the way to the bone.
Bass ackwards
Thanks Cathaus for the post

Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!!
Night night
woke up this morning
Looked upon the wall
The bedbugs anD the cooties were having a game of ball
The score was 9 to nothin

The cooties were ahead
The bedbugs knocked a home run and knocked me out of bed
OH1 AIN'T WE CRAZY
Its all chicken but the gravy!

She's so cross eyed that she could sit on the front porch and cry tears in the backyard.

She had beautiful blue eyes, one blew this way and one blew that way.

I'd stomp a mudhole in his ass and walk it dry.

I'd slap him so hard his britches legs would roll up and down like window shades.

I thought he was gay until I worked with him, now I know she's a cross dresser.
What comes around goes around.

You reap what you sow.
Don't count your chickens before they hatch.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

Meanness don't happen overnight.

To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.

Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal. It just ain't helpful.

Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

Don't corner something meaner than you.

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar... if you're in to catchin' flies.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You can't unsay a cruel remark.

Every path has some puddles.

Don't wrestle with pigs. You'll get all muddy, and the pigs'll love it.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

(I admit I google them).
Bloom where you are planted.
Good things come to those who wait.

Good luck can be found in the vicinity of hard work.
Birds of a feather flock together.

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