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Permalink Reply by Kassi on September 7, 2008 at 0:18

If I am not mistaken that would fall under attorney-client priviledge. I think it is a violation of their code of ethics and subject to discipline but I would have to check with the BAR association on that.

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Permalink Reply by Grice on September 7, 2008 at 2:04

Did you actually retain the services of the lawyer, or simply ask for his(?) opinion? If you did not "hire" the lawyer, then you would not be considered a client. Even if you did not retain the lawyer, it would be a "shady" practice for them to reveal any information about a potential client.

If you did actually retain the lawyer, and became a client of his(?), then it may have been nothing more than the lawyer doing their the job that you hired him to do. They may have been researching your claims, and came into contact with someone who informed your father about an investigation into the property. While it may originally appear that the lawyer betrayed you, there is a chance that they didn't.

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Permalink Reply by Grice on September 7, 2008 at 2:51

I just re-read the code, and you are correct. When a person (or a representative of that person) consults with a lawyer, any information provided is privileged.

That still does not dismiss the opinion that the "leak" of information may not have been a mischievous act by the lawyer. As the lawyer attempted to validate the claims, an uninterested party could have been the source of the information being publicized.

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Permalink Reply by Ringgold Redskin on September 7, 2008 at 2:41

The lawyer did some background checking and someone at the clerk of court office knows your father or his new family. Gossip travels at the speed of light from the courthouse.

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Permalink Reply by Nick Bellard on September 8, 2008 at 10:17

This is highly likely. Clerk of Courts offices are notorious among lawyers for the amount of gossip that travels out of them. This can sometimes be used to the clients advantage, but is often detrimental if the attorney is not careful. The ethical standard for revealing confidential client information is not breached if some busy body clerk employee called a friend after the attorney requested some information, or more likely after he went to the copy desk to pick up research copies and someone in the clerks office recognized the name.

As an anecdote there is a employee of a certain clerks office in south Louisiana who I have dealt with before who called a friend of hers when I attempted to file a default judgment on him. In important issues where I think this nosy woman may be interested I purposely wait until she is off on Friday afternoon to file anything. There is also a case I handled where the defendant was aware of the upcoming suit and he stationed a look out who was employed at the Tax Assessors office which is across the hall from the civil filing division. I was aware of this and called the Clerk of Court who let me in to the Courthouse and the Civil Filing office through a private entrance so as to avoid detection by this courthouse spy.

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Permalink Reply by Sarah on September 7, 2008 at 10:34

Oh Max I am so sorry to hear that your father said these things to you. I know that was quite a blow. I pray that he would recognize and still sense a responsibitlity to his children and grandchildren. Praying his heart will turn back towards his children and that he would want to bless them not just with an inheritance but by spending time with you all again while he is still on earth.

My father called me once in the past 20 years he was alive. That was on 9-11. At least he called me on that day. (when I would call him, he would always be walking out the door...had to go to a Rockets game or something after 1 minute of being on the phone). I think he was greatly affected after having his mom die when he was just 3.

Maybe if you could gently ease in to being in each others lives again, and try to get him back involved with your traditions, he would be so glad if you could be a part of each others lives again. However small. Just something positive to get you going in the right dirction again.
I know first hand exactly how hard it is. It seems hopeless. But nothing ever is.

I know he can't be happy with this big division between you his other kids.
I'm not saying try to get him in to a counseling session with the family. i would think at age 80 that might not go over to well. Maybe you could drop off a meaningful book to him? Send him a card? Some little baby step to bring you all back together.

The only connection I had with my father was dropping off books or pictures of his grandkids to him on the back porch on father's day. I tried calling him in the driveway and he wouldn't answer his phone but just turned out the light. Pretty sad, huh. I'm putting your family on my prayer list as it strikes close to my heart.
Praying and believing for a miracle to take place here. Please keep us posted.
Blessings,
Sarah
PS, remember a gentle answer turns away wrath. I don't want to sound preachy, and I don't always have gentle answers when wrath comes my way, but still...it's good advice to keep in mind.

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Permalink Reply by Max on September 8, 2008 at 3:16

Sarah, I want to thank you for your advice, being positive and gentle answers is the only way to bring a one sided relationship back together.
Max

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Permalink Reply by Sarah on September 8, 2008 at 18:20

Max, I have been thinking about you thru out the day. My heart hurts to think of what you are going thru. I thought of something I saw recently on PBS. I've watched this program like twice in my entire life, but just saw it a few weeks ago and thought it was interesting. You can watch the whole thing on PBS's website here.

http://www.pbs.org/opb/historydetectives/investigations/608_johnada...

There was a very exciting historical find in this episode. It's a book that belonged to President John Adams. I won't tell you anything more about the book and story behind it. (Don't want to ruin the archive in that link for you if you find time to watch it.) Just that John Adams and his son were completely alienated from each other.
But this book is what brought them together and got them talking again.
It was a common bond they had.
I hope it will get you thinking or give you ideas about what might help to get you and your father conversing again. I guess I would say to try and honor him too.

I pray he will drop his defenses and stop being suspicious of you. Who wouldn't be upset if their dad married someone and stopped talking to his kids? It's kind of a natural human reaction. And of course anyone would be understandably upset about the prospect that their dad may have written them out of the will. It's just hurtful.

Again, I don't mean to be "preachy", but it does say somewhere in the bible something about a righteous man leaves an inheritance for his children and grandchildren. That can be a spiritual inheritance but it coud be financial too. You and your sibblings are his children. He needs to do that for you.
I hope you can find a friend or pastor who may be able to offer advice as well and support you and your sibblings.

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Permalink Reply by Max on September 8, 2008 at 21:10

Yes Sarah, you can find this in the book of Proverbs 13:22. The NIV reads a little diffrent from the KJ, but the meaning is not lost. One good thing, he has gotten back into the church over the last few years after spending his adult life away from there. Preachers like to include Proverbs when giving sermons because there's a lot of life's daily lessons that binds together the spiritual with the physical world. Thank you for your support and advice, I have passed it along to my sibblings and they agree that we should be positive each time we deal with our father and not let the past cloud our views.
Max

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