Silly Cliche's You Learned From the Cradle

OK Shalers,
Those of you that know me know that I can only take so much bad news and Shale in-fighting. It is once more time to "lighten" things with something really silly and inane. What could be any sillier than the cliche's we Southerners learned as children. You non-Southerners (you know who you are) should get a kick out of these. I'll start the list and you all can join in. Let's see how many we can come up with.
1. Tighter than Dick's hatband.
2. Drunk as Cooter Brown.
3. Cuter than a speckled pup.
4. Ugly as home made sin.

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Replies to This Discussion

If you're waiting on me you're backing up.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Do not throw the baby out with the bath water - It is better to have a bird in hand than two in the bush - Be honest with the man in the mirror and everything will fall into place - Her face and a lemon would draw a blister on a galvanized pi-- pot (Friends contribution)
Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
"With integrity", nothing else matters. "Without integrity", nothing else matters.
Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.
Don't wait to go to church until six strong men take you. Read the Bible it will scare the hell out of you. Someone in charge may sometimes need to be told that life is not like Burger King--- he or she cannot have it their way.
A miss is as good as a mile.

She (he) looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet.

Every little bit helps, as the old lady said when she pee'd in the churn.

_____

Some good bumper stickers:

The weather is here; wish you were beautiful.

For tailgaters: Wait! I'm re-loading.
-Lord, help me be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
-When you are wrong, apologize. When you are right, shut up.
-What does a dead atheist and a Christian have in common?
(Both believe in God.)
-Having a good heart is good- but we need more livers!
-God loves you – and I’m trying!
-There is a way to stay out of Hell, but no way to get out!
-Just because we came from dirt doesn’t mean we have to wallow in it.
-Opportunity knocks once. Temptation leans on the doorbell.
-There is no right way to do a wrong thing.
-The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.
-Hell will never have an energy crisis.
-People want the front of the bus, the back of the church,
and the center of attention.
-Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted.
-He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
Druggie's maxim:
"No left turn unstoned."
From my grandfather:
He's so dumb be doesn't know the difference between shit and wild honey.
Scarce as hen's teeth.
My Mama's favorite..........

Shit fire and save matches........

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