Disagreeing and Disagreeable
Disagreeing and Disagreeable
I’ll be the first to admit that I have been in the middle of more than my fair share of GHS disagreements. Some of these disagreements are actually enjoyable to be involved in. Sharing ideas, hashing out opinions and trying to see the other side of the coin. I believe it is one of the best parts of the site. Disagreeing respectfully.
All of the disagreements haven’t been pretty. It is sometimes hard to be polite when you so vehemently disagree with another person. But for the most part, even when things have gotten heated, usually the fine people of GHS either agree to disagree or apologize to each other.
Of course there has been some childish name calling in the past and there probably will be in the future, but for the most part we have all been able to move on after an altercation. Usually the parties involved aren’t even as scathed as the by standers than get involved in the fray. We all try to protect those that we care about.
But every once in a while a BULLY comes around. Since I am a cyber rookie it’s hard to know how to handle one of these folks. Not someone who merely disagrees and presents facts and clear arguments but someone who just can’t seem to see past the end of their own nose. Someone who at every turn seems to insult and curse anyone who has a different view point or outlook than them.
I say they have as much right to be on GHS as any of us, BUT they don’t have the right to make it a place that no one else wants to visit. We’ve all experienced people like this and it is NEVER enjoyable. Sometimes you need to stand up to them and sometimes you need to learn when it is JUST TIME TO WALK AWAY. Sometimes there is nothing to be gained from trying to engage this type of person, because they simply do not know how to communicate.
I encourage anyone who cares about the wonderful resource that this site has become to not put up with bullying. You chose whether to stand up or whether to walk away based on what your feelings are. But there are too many wonderful people on this site to have a bully take over and run off others. And I sincerely encourage each of you not to lower your standards to the tactics of bullies. Remember the advice, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". I KNOW I WILL BE DOING MY BEST TO FOLLOW THAT ADVICE.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have been in the middle of more than my fair share of GHS disagreements. Some of these disagreements are actually enjoyable to be involved in. Sharing ideas, hashing out opinions and trying to see the other side of the coin. I believe it is one of the best parts of the site. Disagreeing respectfully.
All of the disagreements haven’t been pretty. It is sometimes hard to be polite when you so vehemently disagree with another person. But for the most part, even when things have gotten heated, usually the fine people of GHS either agree to disagree or apologize to each other.
Of course there has been some childish name calling in the past and there probably will be in the future, but for the most part we have all been able to move on after an altercation. Usually the parties involved aren’t even as scathed as the by standers than get involved in the fray. We all try to protect those that we care about.
But every once in a while a BULLY comes around. Since I am a cyber rookie it’s hard to know how to handle one of these folks. Not someone who merely disagrees and presents facts and clear arguments but someone who just can’t seem to see past the end of their own nose. Someone who at every turn seems to insult and curse anyone who has a different view point or outlook than them.
I say they have as much right to be on GHS as any of us, BUT they don’t have the right to make it a place that no one else wants to visit. We’ve all experienced people like this and it is NEVER enjoyable. Sometimes you need to stand up to them and sometimes you need to learn when it is JUST TIME TO WALK AWAY. Sometimes there is nothing to be gained from trying to engage this type of person, because they simply do not know how to communicate.
I encourage anyone who cares about the wonderful resource that this site has become to not put up with bullying. You chose whether to stand up or whether to walk away based on what your feelings are. But there are too many wonderful people on this site to have a bully take over and run off others. And I sincerely encourage each of you not to lower your standards to the tactics of bullies. Remember the advice, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". I KNOW I WILL BE DOING MY BEST TO FOLLOW THAT ADVICE.
Views: 28
Add a Comment
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Comment by Lerret on March 8, 2009 at 15:23 -
Heck...I'm a Real Estate Appraiser...I'm used to person attacks... I was an idiot because I didn't value property HIGH during the booming 2000 - 2006...Now am am a fool for the opposite...I valued all that stuff too HIGH!
My skin ain't thin. Throw it at me and I will dish it right back... Nothing personal, but I'd love to have audio copies of some of the outrageous phone calls I have gotten over the years and I would post them on my web site.
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Comment by Bobi Carr ("parker") on March 8, 2009 at 11:23
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Gosh Darn,
I have to admit to foolishly hoping for improvement. I just hope that GHS doesn't turn into an AM radio show. That would be a true travesty.
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Comment by sesport on March 7, 2009 at 3:04
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parker - To disagree is as natural as breathing & eating for us ... it's root is the meeting of one's needs. Very difficult for any 2 people to have needs that match exactly, that's why we have compromise.
Being disagreeable, I would guess, comes from feeling one has lived a lifetime of not having needs met? IMHO The disagreeable personality seems, to me, to want to right every wrong s/he perceives being perpetuated against oneself or loved ones. I doubt every human being is immune 100% of the time to being disagreeable, and sometimes it has it's purpose. But to be perpetually disagreeable on all subjects seems, IMO, to foster a "negative energy" that drowns out the voice of reason ... compromise.
Bullies - can we all honestly say that we have never had that urge? Ever? However, are we capable of doing the self-checks? And, again, the bully is driven by needs ... not an excuse, though. So, how to handle a bully? Resist the urge to respond in kind, rise above it, and know one's own self-worth, stay in touch with one's faith. Seems to me I remember some famous guy, who was pretty much bullied & beat down, saying, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they are doing."
Thanks for the great blog post - sesport :0)
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Comment by sesport on March 7, 2009 at 2:42
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Jim - re. demographics of the members of this site ... where did you find that data? I'd like to take a look at it. Thanks - sesport
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Comment by Cathaus on March 6, 2009 at 14:59
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Now that's just plain nice! See, that didn't hurt a bit. Now we can all be friends and everything will be just honkey dorey.
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Comment by Two Dogs, Pirate on March 6, 2009 at 13:52
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Jay when I first posted on this site, I used my name. The ones on here that I care about know who I am. The internet is a dangerous place. Everyone is not rational. I had a message to relate to all the folks in Northwest Louisiana, only lease the shale. My concern was the small mom and pop O&G companies that have been drilling the area since the turn of the century. I was cautioned by my shaler friends to go to a moniker. I am telling you this, go to a moniker, everyone with the least bit of since will still know who you are by your voice. Letting the cat out the bag about anothers identity is not a good thing to do. Some on this site will defend their friends and who knows where that might lead to. Be careful and watch your back, cause you don't know what nut you have offended by just the slightest comment.
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Comment by Jay Murrell on March 6, 2009 at 13:39
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Nuf said friend
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Comment by Bobi Carr ("parker") on March 6, 2009 at 13:23
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Here's my rule, I try to play nice. Really. I try to behave on here the same way I try to behave in the rest of my life. I disagree with everyone I know. I just try to do it respectfully. And I truly try to learn from those I disagree with.
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Comment by Jay Murrell on March 6, 2009 at 13:18
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Sunny outlook..maybe not, but it might keep you away from taking other peep's inventories. That said, if I have hurt anybody personally in my posts I sincerly apologize. I sometimes assume that everybody has the same skin thickness as I do. Here's my rule, if you are going to express your opinion, be prepared to take whatever comes -- especially if it is GROSSLY INVALID.
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Comment by Bobi Carr ("parker") on March 6, 2009 at 13:12
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Jay Murrell,
Thanks for your suggestions. Is the Meamucil going to give me a sunny outlook on life? Oops, I already have that.
I'll try to remember to spell your name right, I wouldn't want you to miss out on any of the spot light that you seem to thrive on.
I look forward to hearing your view point on oil and gas matters. I've truly enjoyed hearing the viewpoints of other industry insiders (how else do we learn).
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