Disagreeing and Disagreeable

I’ll be the first to admit that I have been in the middle of more than my fair share of GHS disagreements. Some of these disagreements are actually enjoyable to be involved in. Sharing ideas, hashing out opinions and trying to see the other side of the coin. I believe it is one of the best parts of the site. Disagreeing respectfully.

All of the disagreements haven’t been pretty. It is sometimes hard to be polite when you so vehemently disagree with another person. But for the most part, even when things have gotten heated, usually the fine people of GHS either agree to disagree or apologize to each other.

Of course there has been some childish name calling in the past and there probably will be in the future, but for the most part we have all been able to move on after an altercation. Usually the parties involved aren’t even as scathed as the by standers than get involved in the fray. We all try to protect those that we care about.

But every once in a while a BULLY comes around. Since I am a cyber rookie it’s hard to know how to handle one of these folks. Not someone who merely disagrees and presents facts and clear arguments but someone who just can’t seem to see past the end of their own nose. Someone who at every turn seems to insult and curse anyone who has a different view point or outlook than them.

I say they have as much right to be on GHS as any of us, BUT they don’t have the right to make it a place that no one else wants to visit. We’ve all experienced people like this and it is NEVER enjoyable. Sometimes you need to stand up to them and sometimes you need to learn when it is JUST TIME TO WALK AWAY. Sometimes there is nothing to be gained from trying to engage this type of person, because they simply do not know how to communicate.

I encourage anyone who cares about the wonderful resource that this site has become to not put up with bullying. You chose whether to stand up or whether to walk away based on what your feelings are. But there are too many wonderful people on this site to have a bully take over and run off others. And I sincerely encourage each of you not to lower your standards to the tactics of bullies. Remember the advice, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". I KNOW I WILL BE DOING MY BEST TO FOLLOW THAT ADVICE.

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Comment by Jay Murrell on March 6, 2009 at 5:54pm
One more thing.

I understood that when I chose to eschew anominty in joining this site that I was opening myself up to some potentially negative feedback, because knowing myself, I was pretty sure things could get controversial. That said, I've just never thought a person that wants to express their opinions in public should hide.. That’s just me.

Where I'm going with that is this: If a person accuses me of doing something, which is actionable as a criminal or civil matter, my ears perk up. I have a clear understand of the civil boundaries of my speech. In that regard I want to stipulate that everything I post and have posted on this site is my OPINION. As to the latter consideration people should be very careful and circumspect in alleging something more sinister.

Anyway, as to all of the criticism, all I ask is that you spell my name right. I haven’t had this much fun since I did talk radio.

Comment by Jay Murrell on March 6, 2009 at 5:31pm

I assure you that I have absolutely no interest in any facet of your personal life. In addition, I have made no threats against you. I assume you are referring to another situation as you indicated in a private e-mail when I asked you to join my friends list some weeks ago. I am sure that you do not want to leave anybody here with the impression that I have threated you, right, so, I hope you will post a clarification.

As to Parker, I suggest Metamucil...:-)

Best to all,

Jay Murrell
Comment by lanadan Ds3 on March 6, 2009 at 5:02am
Here are my "two cents" for what it's worth. I recently submitted a post relating how a few years back I went into court in a civil case "in proper person" (which simply means that you represent yourself without an attorney) in a matter not related to O&G, and indeed won out. The purpose was not to brag or "toot my own horn", so to speak, but rather to give a little encouragement and heart to anyone who at times may feel overwhelmed by the various forces arrayed against them. In other words, don't be afraid to stand up to the powers that be and what you think is right!

Regretably, the response posted by Jay seemed, at least to me, to be sarcastic at best. Maybe the guy was just trying to be cute, I don't know. But I do, however, have a problem with anyone who thinks that they know it all and everybody else knows diddly. Whenever I do post, I try to be very careful in my choice of words, trying to (1)say exactly what I want to say in a clear and consise manner, and (2) not present anything that might be construed as demeaning or just plain mean-spirited and hateful. Perhaps others would do well to take this approach. ROCK ON SHALERS! THE "FAT LADY" HASN'T SUNG YET!!!
Comment by BirdDawg, plain ole' idiot on March 5, 2009 at 11:27pm
Hi KB,
I, for one, appreciate all of your posts, whether I agree with them or not. Got to like a heated debate. HA HA
Comment by Sarah on March 5, 2009 at 11:21pm
KB, I'm sorry, I was not aware of the personal attacks towards you and posting info about you. I am conservative in ideology so was looking at it thru my lens and knowing how I have felt since the election...I was empathizing with the bully.
Parker, the post you responded to last night was where he said, sorry, can't fix stupid. And I just felt that that kind of thing has been thrown out on all sides. But...I can see where you would draw the line at vicious personal attacks. I do too. And there has been a lot on here. I remember early on when I came here, someone attacking Les B of all people! I stuck up for him and you did too. That was the post where I first noticed you. Then I believe you said somewhere you were a conservative.
I'm sorry to hear you are leaving that ideology. Please don't let one rude person change your views!
I like the quote you've given. I've seen you quote it before. It's a very humble and I feel like the biggest dumbie on here, so I like that you can learn from even the most ignorant of people.
KB...I thought I detected a budding friendship between you and "the bully" (sorry I don't want to keep talking about him by name because after all...this IS a public forum...but feel wierd calling him a bully right before his eyes. Anyway, maybe he'll learn to tone down a little. Just like the guy who attacked one of my favorites, Les B did. I believe in redemption so I know that no body is beyond hope of changing? How bout if we give him a little grace? Ya'll were getting along great there for awhile and KB, I can't begin to think up the kind of questions you do! He answers the questions...along with many other great shalers here. But, I would really hate it if we made him feel so bad that he left. We all learn a lot from your discussions! Anyway, ya'll have a good night.
Comment by Bobi Carr ("parker") on March 5, 2009 at 4:51pm
You know I love you as well as most members of the site love you. Personal attacks against you are always going to get my ire up.
I've always enjoyed reading your debates. I enjoy reading all of the well thought out civil debates. They give us all something to think about.
What I don't like is an all out attack against anyone who disagrees with some people.
Comment by Skip Peel - Independent Landman on March 5, 2009 at 2:47pm
Good points all, parker. There are a number of members (and former members) who had valuable information and/or experience to contribute to the site who have ceased to participate or do so now in less conspicuous ways because of personal attacks. Those that remain tend to stay off the Main Page and communicate on personal pages and/or group pages. I hope that in the future they may change their minds and return to the wider audience of the Main Page. IMO, they have much to contribute that would directly benefit many of the members.
Comment by Checkmateking on March 5, 2009 at 2:27pm
Oh Parker, lol, don't some people around here take themselves way to seriously, thank god we are not one of those types of people. Keep up the good fight.
Comment by Trey Thompson on March 5, 2009 at 2:25pm
I personaly dont take stock in what someone says while hiding behind the keyboard.
Comment by Antsu-in-Japan on March 5, 2009 at 7:37am
Thank you, Parker, for shining your light on such an important topic. You are, indeed, an inspiration!! Stay blessed...


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