Disagreeing and Disagreeable

I’ll be the first to admit that I have been in the middle of more than my fair share of GHS disagreements. Some of these disagreements are actually enjoyable to be involved in. Sharing ideas, hashing out opinions and trying to see the other side of the coin. I believe it is one of the best parts of the site. Disagreeing respectfully.

All of the disagreements haven’t been pretty. It is sometimes hard to be polite when you so vehemently disagree with another person. But for the most part, even when things have gotten heated, usually the fine people of GHS either agree to disagree or apologize to each other.

Of course there has been some childish name calling in the past and there probably will be in the future, but for the most part we have all been able to move on after an altercation. Usually the parties involved aren’t even as scathed as the by standers than get involved in the fray. We all try to protect those that we care about.

But every once in a while a BULLY comes around. Since I am a cyber rookie it’s hard to know how to handle one of these folks. Not someone who merely disagrees and presents facts and clear arguments but someone who just can’t seem to see past the end of their own nose. Someone who at every turn seems to insult and curse anyone who has a different view point or outlook than them.

I say they have as much right to be on GHS as any of us, BUT they don’t have the right to make it a place that no one else wants to visit. We’ve all experienced people like this and it is NEVER enjoyable. Sometimes you need to stand up to them and sometimes you need to learn when it is JUST TIME TO WALK AWAY. Sometimes there is nothing to be gained from trying to engage this type of person, because they simply do not know how to communicate.

I encourage anyone who cares about the wonderful resource that this site has become to not put up with bullying. You chose whether to stand up or whether to walk away based on what your feelings are. But there are too many wonderful people on this site to have a bully take over and run off others. And I sincerely encourage each of you not to lower your standards to the tactics of bullies. Remember the advice, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". I KNOW I WILL BE DOING MY BEST TO FOLLOW THAT ADVICE.

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Comment by Bobi Carr ("parker") on March 5, 2009 at 1:55am

To be respected one must show respect. I can respect a difference of opinion and thoroughly enjoy RESPECTFUL discussions. Some people have chosen to leave all civility somewhere else. Banter is fun, but total disrespect is uncalled for. I didn't read the reference where anyone called someone stupid but I have read posts that are disgraceful and beyond what I tolerate in my life.

One of my favorite quotes is by Galileo Galilei, "I have never met a man so ignorant that I could not learn something from him". I couldn't agree more.

But I have met some people who are so distasteful in their manners that it is difficult to hear anything worthwhile that they have to say because they show no regard for others. I personally chose not to deal with that sort of person.

Respect is a two way street.

Rude behavior is rude behavior, whether you agree with the sentiment or not.
Comment by Sarah on March 5, 2009 at 1:53am
I can't edit to add...just want to clarify, I was refering to Jay and Jay the geologist having a discussion that led to KB creating that template. Good job KB. I will refer to your template when I'm contacting representatives as well.
Comment by Sarah on March 5, 2009 at 1:43am
Parker, first of all, thank you for thanking me for commenting on your other blog. You're so polite! :)
In regards to the "bully" I believe you are referring to. I think he's just very frustrated. As are a lot of us. Me included. Okay...so maybe he shouldn't referred to someone as "stupid". However, the response I believe was much worse. I for one am glad Jay is here. (if that's who you're refering to). I really appreciate his comments and the points he makes. I wouldn't want him to feel alienated and leave. I think he's been very helpful, especially in one particular thread that he along with Jay got someone's attention off the fence! And I've rather enjoyed the banter between him and KB. They are fun to read! I'm sorry I refered to him as the prince of darkness the other day to you. (sorry Jay) He's really a great guy, now that I see his political views, even though we are on opposite sides of the negotiating table. Jay,...I hope you don't feel alienated...don't go anywhere! And keep telling it like it is.
Comment by Cathaus on March 5, 2009 at 12:29am
Bullies are only bullies when allowed to be. In or among a crowd, bullies are filled with false bravado. Take them one on one and they run screaming like little girls. We do have bullies on this site. I hate bullies and tend to take up for the person or persons being bullied whether I agree with them or not.
If you refuse to be engaged by a bully, he/she will soon grow tired of the game and go on to find more gullible prey. I have said time after time, I DO NOT suffer fools lightly. I would rather put my time and energy into something more productive. Sparring with idiots is not fun and it does nothing but drive up my already slightly high blood pressure.

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