Silly Cliche's You Learned From the Cradle

OK Shalers,
Those of you that know me know that I can only take so much bad news and Shale in-fighting. It is once more time to "lighten" things with something really silly and inane. What could be any sillier than the cliche's we Southerners learned as children. You non-Southerners (you know who you are) should get a kick out of these. I'll start the list and you all can join in. Let's see how many we can come up with.
1. Tighter than Dick's hatband.
2. Drunk as Cooter Brown.
3. Cuter than a speckled pup.
4. Ugly as home made sin.

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A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
After 3 days fish and friends smell....yung fu
a belch is a fart your arse rejected...
a fool puts his tongue to work before he does his brain....
From my grandfather. "It ain't a sin to be ugly, but she's over doin' it" "He was grinnin' like a mule eatin' briars" or "like a possum eatin' sh*t"
From my friend Mark, "She is red on the head like a dick on a dog" or "She's red on the noodle like a pecker on a poodle"
To err is human, but to blame it on somebody else shows management potential!
All hat, no cows.

I don't know whether to wind my ass or scratch my watch.
when you get a skinny minute, give me a shout
a minute is about all I have that is skinny!
Well it ain't really country. It's kind of chauvanistic, but when Jack Blake is with another man and they see a hot looking blond or red head, Jack will say, "Hmmmmmmmmm, I wonder if the carpet matches the curtains".
LONG LIVE HOT REDHEADS, BLONDES AND THE HAYNESVILLE SHALE CRIED JACK BLAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kind of chauvinistic??
Wild as a peach orchard hog,
Cold as a well digger's tail
So poor he'd have to borrow moeny to buy water to cry with
Plumb tuckered out

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