Jane Austen's guide to leasing
To get a PROPER lease you need to think like a woman a few hundred years ago. You'll have to wait until they come to you and then you can't appear to be interested. Actually something short of total disdain is called for maybe even the honest threat that you will go UMO. You will still need to flutter your fan though. That way when you get asked to the ball, you know that they will actually dance with you when you get there. They won’t have your intent and then not follow through with their promises (and don’t forget what your grandmother told you about promises made by men before marriage).
Your best plan of action is to join a group. That way the organization can let society know that you are available without you appearing to be. Maybe they will even have a cotillion so that your assets can be put on display.
Uggh. I thought I should also warn you that if you want to go home with the dashing Chesapeake, you’ll have to dance with his ugly illegitimate brother Twin Cities first. You had better be agile because he is known to step on toes and has even dropped a partner or two.
I for one don’t think that Chesapeake is any “Darcy”, but what can I say, I was destined to a prearranged marriage to the ever illusive Encana long before the ball started. I’ve yet to see his purported charm, but I’m ever hopeful.
My apologies to Miss Austen, but in this story, the love can only be had after all of the clauses are inserted.
There are no “Darcy’s” unless you train them to be from the start. And just like the prettiest woman in the state, if your in the “core”, you’ll have all the attention you need. If on the other hand you are beautiful in other ways you’ll just have to wait until the one meant just for you comes calling. But remember the ugly brother Twin Cities is not anyone’s destiny. I can’t believe anyone would believe he has any appeal.
Your best plan of action is to join a group. That way the organization can let society know that you are available without you appearing to be. Maybe they will even have a cotillion so that your assets can be put on display.
Uggh. I thought I should also warn you that if you want to go home with the dashing Chesapeake, you’ll have to dance with his ugly illegitimate brother Twin Cities first. You had better be agile because he is known to step on toes and has even dropped a partner or two.
I for one don’t think that Chesapeake is any “Darcy”, but what can I say, I was destined to a prearranged marriage to the ever illusive Encana long before the ball started. I’ve yet to see his purported charm, but I’m ever hopeful.
My apologies to Miss Austen, but in this story, the love can only be had after all of the clauses are inserted.
There are no “Darcy’s” unless you train them to be from the start. And just like the prettiest woman in the state, if your in the “core”, you’ll have all the attention you need. If on the other hand you are beautiful in other ways you’ll just have to wait until the one meant just for you comes calling. But remember the ugly brother Twin Cities is not anyone’s destiny. I can’t believe anyone would believe he has any appeal.
Views: 24
Add a Comment
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Comment by Aubrey C. Sanders, Jr. on February 16, 2010 at 17:41
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Parker,
I just came across this tonight. This is so good, and funny. Sorry I missed it for so long. My problem is that there are not enough hours in a day!
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Comment by Iris on August 10, 2009 at 11:37
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Scoundrel or whatever Chesapeake is not dashing! They know what their "brother" is doing!
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Comment by Bobi Carr ("parker") on August 7, 2009 at 7:54
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Tiger,
Scoundrel sound rather sexy and appealing. Ain't nothing appealing about Twin Cities.
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Comment by Iris on August 6, 2009 at 12:22
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Don't like the use of the words ugly illegitimate--close to Jane Austen's analysis tho...I happen to be reading Sense & Sensibility right now..Park....resting from all those serial murders & other gory detail books. How about scoundrels for Twin Cities ...that's what Jane would say!
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Comment by lanadan Ds3 on August 5, 2009 at 20:24
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Then I guess I was destined to be an UMO "old maid" 'cause I ain't about to to crawl in bed (marry) that slick-talking, silver (or is it fork-ed ) tongued landman with the pencil moustach and greasy, slicked-back hair who will say and do anything just to get a shy non-assumming country girl to commit to a dubious relationship (ergo, sign away her minerals under a somewhat suspect lease ).
" . . . Oh Rhett, what will I do now . . . " Answer: " . . . Frankly, my dear, I don't give a mmcf . . . "
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Comment by Keith Mauck (Site Publisher) on August 4, 2009 at 10:54
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clever
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Comment by jffree1 on August 4, 2009 at 4:46
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Thanks Parker. Good advice from a different perspective. Very creative!
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