Silly Cliche's You Learned From the Cradle

OK Shalers,
Those of you that know me know that I can only take so much bad news and Shale in-fighting. It is once more time to "lighten" things with something really silly and inane. What could be any sillier than the cliche's we Southerners learned as children. You non-Southerners (you know who you are) should get a kick out of these. I'll start the list and you all can join in. Let's see how many we can come up with.
1. Tighter than Dick's hatband.
2. Drunk as Cooter Brown.
3. Cuter than a speckled pup.
4. Ugly as home made sin.

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Replies to This Discussion

I put the fun in dysfunctional!
My mama didn't raise no fool.
I knew you before you wuz a glimmer in ya daddy's eyes.
A day late and a dollar short.
Follow up to Two Dogs "good lookin' woman post. "She's so fine, there's no telling where the money went." Not southern that I am aware of but I thought it fit here. Props to Robert Palmer. Jethro Tull lyrics not allowed. Gets us in trouble every time.
I loved me some Robert Palmer!
Don't force it, get a bigger hammer

Slow as molasses in December

Jumped on him like a chicken on a June bug

She has two thirty eights and a gun
Flank Steak at the oyster Bar,
Skip Knows. he recomended it>
1)My momma raised a fool but he is 3 or 4 years younger than me.

2)That girls one of the Lee twins, Home & Ug!

3) Kiss the north end of a south bound mule.

4) Harder then the times in '29

5) All's fair in love & war.......and one of my personal favorites penned by my lovely wife in regards to this last saying......"Fair is fair and Love is War." You cant make up stuff like that.HA!HA!HA! God bless her soul!

6) Take a long walk off a short pier.

7) Happier then a fat boy at a pie eatin contest.

8) If "its" and "buts" were candies and nuts , we would all have a Merry Christmas.

9) If a frog had a glass --- , he'd only jump once!
If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his butt everytime he jumped.
Can't never could.
Don't should on yourself.
Wings
Well saw my legs off and call me shorty.

Hotter than a June bride in a feather bed.

Busier than a one-armed paper hanger with an itch.

I've seen better hair on salt pork.
knee high to a tadpole.
lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.
1. The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time.
2. If I had of known yesterday what I know today.
3. Can't make a purse out of a sow's ear.
4. Hind sight is 20/20.
5. If it ain't broke don't fix it.
6. It takes two to tango.
7. My favorite, "No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Jim. "If the shoe fits, wear it".

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