OK Shalers,
Those of you that know me know that I can only take so much bad news and Shale in-fighting. It is once more time to "lighten" things with something really silly and inane. What could be any sillier than the cliche's we Southerners learned as children. You non-Southerners (you know who you are) should get a kick out of these. I'll start the list and you all can join in. Let's see how many we can come up with.
1. Tighter than Dick's hatband.
2. Drunk as Cooter Brown.
3. Cuter than a speckled pup.
4. Ugly as home made sin.
Cathaus - Thank you for starting this! We all need a laugh these days. Here's some of my favorites:
Goofier than a wooden watch
Hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell
Colder than a whore’s heart
Black as the ace of spades
If wishes were horses then beggars would ride
Dumber than six boxes of dirt
There ain't no cure for stupid (or lazy)
I'm gonna whip your behind on less ground than it takes to bury you!
I'm gonna slap you naked and hide your clothes!
My all time favorite – it’s best delivered with a bit of country twang:
If you lay down with daawwgs you get fleas.
Don't cut your nose off to spite your face.
Easy as putting socks on a rooster.
As useful as a lead balloon.
Madder than a wet hen.
Make like a tree and leave.
Make like a cow paddy and hit the trail.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
I'm in the short rows now.
If a frog had wings he would't bust his ass every time the jumps.
Wish in one hand and $#!+ i in the other and see which one fills up first.
She's finer than a frog hair split 4 ways.
Ifiwouldashouldacoulda.
Miss, this ain't my first rodeo.